I was really nervous to go to the self-defense workshop. I don’t know, actually, what I was nervous about, because now that seems really stupid. Probably just fear of the unknown, or fear that I would be exposed as a total pussy.

Anyways, that’s not the point. The point is that I came and I learned how to kick some ass. Kidding. What we did learn was not what I had expected. I thought, ok, we will get together, and they will start by telling us clever little hints, like, you should always shout “fire” when you are in trouble, because people respond to that, they don’t respond to “rape” or even “help”…I was wrong.

The first thing we did was pick up long wooden sticks and go outside.

Day one: 3 hours learning and practicing fighting techniques with the sticks. Observations: I am confused, this is really tiring, I have absolutely no eye-hand coordination, I am ready for lunch, then, thinking,…just come back tomorrow, everything will “click” tomorrow.

Day two: Well, I’m back. I’m back, it’s even earlier in the morning, and you know the movements that we learned yesterday? We didn’t forget, and we’re actually pretty good at them now. Then we did some boxing, we learned how to really make a fist, to throw a punch. Ok, this was something new for me, and it felt like we were being taught something secret, something from a world we are supposed to be kept out of, and I suddenly felt so powerful. Observations: I am a strong woman. Haha. I know something you don’t know I know.

Day three: what could be next? Special attacks. On this last day we learned how to defend against all kinds of attacks; up-against-the-wall pushing, throat choking, hair-pulling, everything. And then we practiced screaming, really, really screaming.

One week later: Observations: Well, I’m not sure I remember how to immediately get myself out of chokehold, and I still have trouble picturing myself ever really punching someone. But, so what did I learn from the workshop? Well, now I know something more important, some secret – that I can scream so, so loud, that I am strong, that learning how to defend yourself is nothing more difficult learning any other skill, that I had everything inside of me already, except the knowledge that I know… and so now I know.