Great moment and reality depression by Conni

Hi

Today I ve been a bit depressed....

I am thinking what was this week? was it real? isnt it all just one oth these moments, isnt it just an illusion?

It feels like a dream , where everything is so clear and you thinking, thats the way,wow, thats it, everything is all right..Then you have to leave , you are somewhere else and you dont know really how to explain what happened to others, and slowly its all gone and you are back in reality life and you think nothing is alright, you are just tooooo crazy, you are just sick..

then I wonder if it is worth to believe, to go on to live and fight for these moments...

somehow I have to, because I need these moments (or maybe its just an illusion) where you feel you are not alone, you are not weak, you are not crazy, where things you love to do make sense... I am addicted to these moments , it makes me feel alive...

I really felt quite lost with this spirit that came to me during Road of Peace which was one of these moments...It all felt like we are a family in the middle of monsters and paranoia ,but then the monsters took over...Hard to face reality and to see you are alone, there is no connection any more, we are not one family, there are too many borders and visa checkpoints inside and outside and between of ourselves ..You have to fight for yourself, everybody has to fight for themselves...

But things like coming to this place and this festival and meeting so many nice and strong women and old friends is really healing...I remembered old times and ideas and its its giving me a new hope and a new vision.. I really hope we dont loose each other (again), we need to stay connected and work on this howeveryoucallit and let it become more real...

love to everybody

Conni